Facebook Status Updates
by Zodiac Sign

How does your sign answer the question, "What's on your mind?"

What started as a sleek social network for in-the-know college students has exploded into a web of interconnection -- these days, everyone and their mother (and yes, that probably includes yours) has a Facebook profile. Through these profiles, we're alerted to the comings, goings, highs and lows of "friends" from every area of our lives. And while nobody really seems to truly understand the purpose of the Facebook status update -- should it be an FYI to alert your contacts to your current location? Should it be a probing reflection of your rich inner life? -- your zodiac sign can predict your own specific status style!

Aries (March 21 to April 19)
Remember when Facebook famously removed the mandatory "is" from the status update field? The Warrior sign was the most likely to protest -- partly because typing in those two little letters wasted valuable seconds in its already action-packed day, but mainly because a typical Aries status update tells you what the Fire sign is doing or feeling at that very second. And impulsive Aries is also the sign most likely to make big announcements via Facebook status. In the heat of the moment, why go to all the trouble of phoning relatives and close friends when a quick "Aries is getting married!" does the trick?

Taurus (April 20 to May 20)
Friends who alert you to the fact that they're enjoying the sweetest burrito ever aren't just giving you the deets on daily minutiae -- they're also probably Bulls! This steady sign is known for its single-minded determination to do things its own way, so you might be treated to the occasional heads-up on an impressive personal accomplishment ("Taurus just finished single-handedly building his own deck!"), but on the flipside Taurus also seeks pleasure and will tell its entire Facebook network when it's found it. Bulls put a premium on creature comforts, so don't be surprised when your Taurus friends populate your news feed with breaking headlines like "mmm ... coffee" or "Taurus is taking a nap."

Gemini (May 21 to June 20)
As one of the two signs ruled by chatty, information-loving planet Mercury, Gemini loves to gather interesting ideas and share them at warp speed. If something's worth knowing, your Gemini friends will drop it into their status -- and often, they'll update several times a day! (You might recommend that your "Twin sign" friends try Twitter instead!) At the same time, fast-paced Gemini values communication so much, it is the sign most likely to over-share juicy personal details. That just means that when your Twin friend thinks he just met the future mother of his children, you (and the rest of his expansive Facebook network) will know immediately!

Cancer (June 21 to July 22)
The homebody sign of the Crab doesn't venture out as often as the rest of the zodiac -- and that includes forays into the Facebook realm! When this sensitive sign does get an itch to update, however, the message will most likely start with an emotional declaration -- "Cancer is happy that..." or "Cancer worries about..." for example. But this nurturing sign won't be stressing about its own situation. As the shoulder to cry on in the zodiac, Cancer will use its update to either celebrate or show support to a loved one. When Cancer ventures out on Facebook, it reaches out: "Cancer is happy that Sara scored her dream job!" or "Cancer's thoughts are with Paul during this difficult time."

Leo (July 23 to August 22)
For the image-conscious, Facebook is the ultimate online playground, so the proud Lion of the zodiac relishes the wealth of opportunities to post only flattering photos of itself -- and to only update with exciting news! At the same time, this Fire sign has a flare for the dramatic, so don't expect your Leo contacts to tell you they're working late again. Instead, you're more likely to read: "Leo is missing a once-in-a-lifetime concert because she's chained to her desk, slaving away on a multi-million-dollar account!" Whatever a Leo's status, expect it to be two things: epic, and charmingly self-promoting!

Virgo (August 23 to September 22)
It's not a stretch to say that this analytic sign probably agonizes over the perfect status update, and you can bet that when the wordsmith of the zodiac finally settles on one, it will be free of grammar and spelling errors. This Mercury-ruled sign will often use its famously dry wit to make a cutting observation, or it might just let some self-awareness slip through -- but only if Virgo can spin the message in a hilarious way. A fan of smart puns and one-liners, this well-read sign might borrow a famous quote and twist it to fit its mood (like a line from writer Oscar Wilde: "Virgo can resist everything but temptation").

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