Paulo's Perspective

Advice from the Founder of Tarot.com: June 4, 2010

by Paul O'Brien

Deceased Husband's Love

Dear Paulo, My husband recently died after a long battle with cancer. What I would like to know is will my husband continue to be able to guide me? Where can I go to feel his answers? I miss his presence and strength yet I feel his love.

--Cynde, 55 y/o, Rancho Santa Fe, CA

What a beautiful question ... your love shines through ... and what a blessing to have experienced a true love in this lifetime!

Most of us have beliefs about death and the hereafter, and I suppose our faith must be our reality in that department. In any case, I am reminded of the counsel my spiritual teacher Mataji Indra Devi would offer the bereaved: "Do your best to let them go, let them move on," she would say. "It can be hard to complete the grieving process, but it is best to set them free to move into their next dimension, rather than holding them back with your emotional needs." Mataji was a wise mystic, who had lost two husbands in her own long life, speaking from nine decades of personal experience at the time.

Don't worry -- your husband will always be in your heart and that is where to turn for the answers you need going forward. Now your soul is calling upon you to trust yourself like you trusted him. It's the best of both worlds -- you can feel your husband's love whenever you want, and let it support you in learning to love and trust yourself!

Love the Job You're With

Dear Paulo, I have a mental dilemma that I could use some help or guidance in understanding. I am a business coach who loves what he does. I have put a lot of time, money and focus on being a business coach and have many years of experience being in business. Currently I'm not making enough income to sustain myself and family through coaching and have been offered a sales position that is unrelated, but which I know I will be good at, and which will produce the income necessary to sustain our lives. My "dilemma" is that I would prefer to be a coach yet do not have the income to sustain that and have a fear that I'd be giving up on my dream by taking this position. I will do the right thing for the sake of my family yet cannot get over the sense that my dream will be on hold.

--Jacob, Tiburon CA

Jacob, your vision has a lot to do with what it looks like to be a "business coach" in your mind's eye. Instead, try focusing on the essence of what you love about coaching, not the image of yourself doing it. I suspect the essence of your desire has to do with helping others. If so, remember that you can be a helpful "coach" in any situation or job -- especially sales, where presumably you are providing a good solution for the right people who may need help to understand its value for them.

If you take this attitude, you will not lose out on anything. Your needs are always being met, even if the universe insists on a form that better supports your family right now. Focus on the essence of what you want, not the form. Don't try to control your destiny. Remember the old expression: "You pedal; It steers." In this case you can have it all. So, get pedaling and make some money … and congratulations on finding a job!

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