When I was 18-years-old I worked double shifts as the manager for a local ice cream store to put myself through college. Late one night, just before closing, three young men walked into the store, pulled guns and robbed us. There was a simultaneous terror and compassion that surged through my body during this horrific violation. Terror for myself, and compassion for the gunman who held a gun to my head as he proceeded to lock me into the walk in refrigerator. What an unlikely schism!
This was an experience I'll never forget. Here I was, being completely victimized -- my life in danger -- and I felt sorry for my perpetrator. Although I was careful not to look directly in his eyes, when he grabbed me to put me in the refrigerator I felt his fear and confusion course through my soul. I knew he didn't want to do this … I knew there was more to his story than brutality and crime. And in that very instant I silently forgave him. I never gave into the fear I felt that evening. If I had, it would have robbed me of my freedom.
You can explore how life experiences such as this can shape the way you handle your current relationships with a Hidden Messages Astrology report.
Don't give in to the fear
This morning, as I kissed both of my children goodbye and told them to have a fantastic day at school, I recalled the personal crime I experienced 20 years earlier. I made a conscious choice not to give into the fear that is sweeping our nation right now on the heels of the Sandy Hook Elementary School tragedy. I told my 11-year-old daughter, who expressed anxiety, to honor her feelings but not to become paralyzed by them. I can only hope she'll listen.
Immediately, I am able to split myself in two again -- just like I did that night at the ice cream store when the young man had that gun pressed against my head. I feel the strange combination of fear, anger and compassion. No one deserves for this to happen! No child, no adult, no mother should have to endure the pain and horror that these victims did. Part of me is raw with outrage and grief for the innocent. Then there's the other part of me. The part that longs to understand what events could possibly turn a human being into a monster?
Saturn in Scorpio's difficult lessons
Saturn is in Scorpio, my friends. Saturn, the planet of difficult lessons, challenges us to go deep into the ugly underbelly of humanity while it's in Scorpio. Perhaps we are seeing more evil these days. Perhaps we are experiencing more close encounters with bitter ugly. The question is: What will we do with these experiences?
Saturn-Pluto contacts are powerful. They can also be difficult! Saturn in Scorpio is very similar to a Saturn-Pluto aspect. These days in the sky we happen to have both co-existing since Saturn is not only in Scorpio but is also in a sextile aspect to Pluto. In addition, these planets are in a rare alignment called a mutual reception (when one planet is in the sign ruled by the other). Saturn-Pluto connections suggest an indomitable will and can endow us with unstoppable persistence. This tenacity can be used to achieve great things … or the opposite.
Here is where awareness and free will come into the picture, obviously. This aspect, either in a birth chart or by transit, is known as one of the most difficult to overcome in all of Astrology. When you're born with a Saturn-Pluto square or opposition there are usually extremely difficult emotional experiences in your early environment to process that leave you feeling vulnerable. You may overcompensate in an attempt to control your world and those around you (sometimes) in a pitiless way. If you're using this aspect in a positive way, however, then you're capable of the most incredible success due to your ability to successfully endure the most challenging circumstances with commitment and diligence.
Healing through feeling
While Saturn tours Scorpio we may continue to see more skeletons in the closet of humanity come out. We'll be challenged to acknowledge them, process them and ultimately, heal from them. The recent, horrific events surrounding the Sandy Hook Massacre have ignited raw, emotional debates about everything from mental illness to gun control laws. The only way to begin healing is to first acknowledge the pain. Saturn in Scorpio is excellent at forcing us to surrender to pain so deep it makes our very soul bleed.
Nevertheless, I refuse to allow this event to tarnish my overall view of humanity. I know that collectively and individually we have incredible and unlimited potential for good. To maintain our freedom -- and ultimately our power -- we must not allow ourselves to become paralyzed in anger and grief. Instead, I hope our world can achieve even more compassion and humanity because of such tragic events.
As a mother, I cannot fathom the pain and suffering the family members of Sandy Hook's recent victims are experiencing. My prayers and compassion goes to them above anyone else. Like, you my heart aches.
Still, we cannot control anyone else's actions -- or their Astrology. We can only control our actions and our reactions to what other people do or say. Me? I choose understanding. I choose freedom over fear. I choose compassion.