by "Light and Love," a Psychic Advisor on Keen*

It may be time to let go and say, "Enough is enough, I'm done!" Many of us struggle with this issue in our love relationships and even in our friendships.

Are you reacting emotionally to an unpleasant, but unique situation? Or are you often excusing the hurtful behavior of your lovers or friends? If you answered yes to the second question, a look at your relating patterns will help you discover whether or not you are attracting negative relationships.

People don't always deserve negative behavior, but patterns may arise that require a closer look at your role.

• Are you constantly being hurt, either by words or by actions?
• Do you allow yourself to be treated with disrespect?
• Do you tend to convince yourself that you deserve this treatment or brought this behavior out in another?
• Do you forgive that person, only to have this behavior repeated over and over again? Forgiveness is important in relationships; however, consistent forgiveness may actually be a behavior called "enabling" that allows the other's hurtful behavior to continue.

He says he'll call, but days go by without a call. So you initiate contact and ask, "Why didn't you call?" His reply is angry and defensive, making you feel like you are demanding and needy.

Are you really demanding and/or needy? Perhaps -- but the person also said they would call! Their behavior starts you on a self-doubt ride and you begin to think, maybe I am being too demanding. Maybe I should just let it go this time.

Are you letting it go because the behavior is excusable or because you are fearful of losing that person in your life if you push your point?

Do you allow this type of scenario to occur repeatedly?
Ups and downs are a natural part of relationships. However, healthy relationships are a two-way street of respect, forgiveness, thoughtfulness and love. If you provide all of the positive things like love, trust, compassion, forgiveness and understanding only to regularly receive negative behaviors in return, this is an unhealthy relationship for you.

You are not going to change another's behavior by repeatedly forgiving them, tolerating them and excusing them. None of us are perfect and a few instances of needing forgiveness are acceptable and normal. A regular pattern is not and you may actually be enabling negative behaviors and actions. Every time you allow hurtful behavior to be acceptable, you are inviting the same behavior back to be displayed and acted out again. If you are an enabler in a tumultuous relationship, take control.

*From the blog of "Light and Love," a Psychic Advisor on Keen