It Takes Two to Tango in the 7th House

When it comes to partnerships, it's a two way street...

astrology chart

The vast majority of our life lessons center around relationships. As a result, the 7th House of Unions becomes much more than partnership and marriage. In fact, the 7th house embodies not only the qualities we're irresistibly drawn to and will attract in another person, but it also speaks volumes about the very same qualities inside ourselves we try desperately to disconnect with. After all, it's not "me" if it's "you" right?


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The 7th house is much more about you than you realize. Because the Ascendant, or 1st House of Personality cusp, is the sign that represents the self you show to the world, then the Descendant, or 7th house cusp is the sign that denotes the qualities that you have but do not consciously own. These are the qualities you came here to learn how to cultivate and balance within yourself. Who better than your partner to help you out? For that reason, relationships are primarily a function of projection. Being in a relationship with someone will teach us to face potentials that are within us, but that we're not comfortable expressing.

1 is the lonliest number, but not in the 7th house

The 7th house has long been associated not only with your partner and business associates, with clients, and anyone you have a legal relationship with, but also with open enemies. Sound strange? Well, if you give it some thought you'll understand the reasoning.

If you've ever fallen in love and given a relationship your all only to see it go down the tubes in a most dreadful way ... you'll get it. After all, this is when the person you once called your soul mate is suddenly reduced to enemy number one! Nasty break up or ugly divorce anyone?

Attraction is not a choice

In any event, when we meet someone who displays qualities that we somehow learned how to deny in ourselves (the 7th house) we'll often feel an inexorable pull towards this person. In fact, we're captivated. Got Aries Rising? Then Libra will be on your 7th house cusp. Here is the person who will manage to calm you down when you're all riled up ... who will bring peace and perspective to your impatient, always-on-the-run self. Virgo Rising? Then you're meticulous as can be. You prefer a wrinkle free life and will tend to the details with efficiency. When you meet someone who embodies the qualities on your Pisces 7th house cusp however, you come undone. The dreamer and artist, the spiritually connected soul who flows through life without worrying about the practical trappings of life will bring you to your knees.

So you fall madly in love with the person who embodies your 7th house cusp and it's all grand in the beginning. But then slowly, surely, this person will begin to annoy you. That's when you know the mirror of projection is reflecting back at your psyche.

Aries rising will get angry at her Libra counterpart for being too diplomatic -- even sugary in order to get what she wants. Until Aries realizes that he or she is quite capable of the very same behavior but tends to swat it away in favor of force. Virgo rising will chide his Pisces counterpart for escaping reality until he realizes that the more he hides behind his work, the more he, too, attempts to escape from facing a difficult situation.

If the shoe fits...

Ahhhh ... 7th house magic. The famous quote "You complete me" is starting to make a little more sense now, isn't it? Indeed we are madly attracted to traits in someone else that we feel will essentially make us whole. We're all looking for the missing piece of the puzzle and when we meet someone who epitomizes our 7th house, voila, we've found it.

Consider this: the flip side of complimentary is polarity. The close partnerships in our lives -- whether business or personal -- teach us that what seems like an opposite agenda may be the catalyst that motivates us to learn how to reach true compromise. After all, with the 7th house, even though there is so much you may project it's still not all about you. It's about us.

Participating in the gracefulness of relating and compromise is art of the 7th house. We really do meet ourselves in the eyes of our partner.

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