By the time you read this blog I hope to be healed from surgery and hear the wonderful news that it wasn't cancer after all.
I just had an excisional biopsy which "may or may not" leave a one to two inch scar on my breast. This is fascinating to me astrologically ... and annoying to me personally.
I'm talking about the Cancer scare. But I'm also talking about the scar.
I have Mars in Cancer natally and Mars is the ruler of my chart. It squares Pluto and widely conjuncts Saturn in my horoscope. This Mars-Pluto connection is linked to scars. In medical Astrology, the sign Cancer rules the stomach and the breasts. To see where your Mars lies in your birth chart, try running our Essential Birth Report.
These are now officially the two areas on my body where I have permanent scars.
My way or the highway
The first was a horrific "life and death" scar. When I gave birth to my son Vincent I was, in typical Aries rising with Venus in Aries warrior woman style, determined to have a drug free birthing experience. In fact, I wanted a home birth.
My son's father was not having it so ultimately; I had to go the hospital route. But little did he know that I had a plan. That's right, I was going to be in control of my birth experience and spend as much time as possible at home.
How to accomplish this? Easy. Just don't tell your man when you're in hard core labor.
My brilliant plan worked ... sort of.
I did have an amazing experience laboring from home. By the time I arrived at the hospital, I was 9 centimeters dilated.
I remember my Obstetrician telling me, in the most apologetic voice imaginable, that he could not offer me any pain relief because I was too far in my labor.
I looked at him and exclaimed: "Good. I told you I didn't want drugs!" He looked at me -- baffled -- like I had two heads. I do believe he silently considered calling the people on Psych to "stand by."
A big decision
In any event, once I started pushing everything changed. My perfect labor experience suddenly transformed into a nightmare delivery. I would push -- and my son would stop breathing. My body filled with terror. The doctor explained that there was no time to waste. An emergency C-section must be performed. Because I had no epidural, I would need to be sedated.
The last thing I remember before drifting off to sleep was an angel whispering in my ear that my son was about to be born and that he would be just fine. The first thing I remember when I woke up was my doctor telling me that my son was healthy and that he was extremely sorry for the scar he had to inflict on my stomach area in order to perform the lifesaving procedure.
At that moment I didn't care one bit about whatever scar the doctor was talking about. ALL that mattered was that he saved my son's life. Dr. Block was my hero.
It wasn't until weeks later that I began to understand what he meant by the scar. Due to the situation, he had to perform the "old style" C-Section where you receive two cuts. One long one under your belly button up to your pelvis and another, smaller one, across your pelvis. A large upside down T.
It's not a pretty sight. In fact, when it heals, it leaves your stomach looking like a butt. I'm not exaggerating.
Time for healing
The psychological effect this scar had on me was brutal. So brutal that, once I knew I was finished having children, I decided to do something about it. I hired an amazing plastic surgeon to perform an Abdominoplasty (tummy tuck) which effectively erased the deformity I'd lived with for years.
By then I was an astrologer and used my early, limited knowledge of medical and electional Astrology to plan the best date and time to have my procedure. It was a success! I'm sure that was mainly because I hired a top notch surgeon. BUT I'm also sure that using Astrology to elect my procedure did wonders for my healing process and helped buffer against potential complications.
Now here I am in the same position. Coming to terms with the fact that I'll have a scar on my body (this time one that might save my life instead of my child's) AND knowing that as an astrologer, I want to do everything in my power to ensure a smooth surgical procedure.
My number one concern about operating in July (which is when the doctor wanted it done) was that Mars in the sky would enter Cancer (my natal Mars placement). Mars rules surgery (and surgeons) and Cancer rules the breasts. If Mars was aspected in a kind way this would not be so much of a problem. But Mars would square Uranus and oppose Pluto.
Bad, bad aspects for surgery.
The Astrology behind it all...
Adding to this, since I have natal Mars in Cancer I currently have transiting Pluto opposite my natal Mars and Uranus square it. Bad, bad aspects for surgery (although quite reflective of the fact that I currently have this health concern and NEED surgery). Still, operating under this planetary mess can signal infection potential or a host of other complications. Not to mention Mercury was retrograde for most of July. Yikes!
July turned into a gigantic NO. Even if the miniscule mass turns out to be something, I felt I was better off waiting a few weeks rather than expose myself to surgery under this planetary nightmare.
I knew I couldn't put off the surgery for long though because this mass does have the small chance of being malignant. So I accepted the fact that while Mars was in Cancer I would need to have it. I just waited until the awful aspects passed and I could find other planets in the sky to help support Mars.
I chose August 8 as my best option for various technical astrological reasons I won't get into here. Am I playing doctor? Maybe. But I can't help it. My natal Mars in Cancer is already scarred. I'm just trying to ease the pain.