Venus Direct

Looking back as the planet of love turns forward

Venus with direct symbol

I knew this Venus Retrograde would be a game-changer. You see, Venus Retrograde cycles repeat themselves every eight years, so you can actually go back in time and retrace cycles of the past to see what you'll experience in the present.This retrograde -- which began July 25 in early Virgo, and lasts until September 6 in mid-Leo -- repeated the same cycle from the summers of 2007, 1999, 1991, and so on...

That's an extremely valuable piece of Astrology information to keep in your tool box my friends! For me, this Venus Retrograde has been ALL about love, children, creativity, and sex. That's because this Venus Retrograde cycle occurred in my 5th house. Looking back at previous years when this retrograde occurred, I could easily point to the summers of 1991, 1999, and 2007 as being life-changing for me in all 5th-house matters. So I knew that this summer would be no different.

See what's really happening in your love life at this potent time with a Relationship Analysis Tarot reading.

Recurring themes

1991: As Venus shifted retrograde I was 17 years old. I experienced my first love, and first heartbreak. Toward the end of this summer I was introduced to the man I would eventually marry and have children with. Typical of Venus Retrograde drama, I wasn't interested in him at first because I was completely hung up on the man who broke my heart. After Venus turned direct however, I made a choice. I chose the man who treated me like a princess.

1999: The fairytale continued and by the Venus Retrograde cycle of 1999 it evolved to my being pregnant with our first child. I was 25 years old, and while Venus was retrograde in early Virgo that summer I gave birth to my son Vincent. As Venus continued to retrograde I dealt with feeling extremely unbeautiful, insecure about my mothering abilities, and depressed. I was REALLY depressed about feeling that all the fun in my life was now over and life would be nothing but duty and work. Do you see the Venus in Virgo/Leo themes here?

2007: Then, in the summer of 2007 Venus turned retrograde and I was once again heartbroken. I'll spare you the details but suffice it to say that this summer revealed plenty of secrets about why my marriage was unraveling. I was 33 years old and everything connected to my 5th house fell apart.

2015: Now, here we are at the tail-end of the summer of 2015. Going into this summer I knew it would be major. How could it not be when I have such a history of this Venus Retrograde phase being so life-changing? But I also knew that this summer would HURT. There would be pain before revelation. There would be heartbreak before healing.

And that's exactly what happened.  

Living in fear

The summer began with me being completely, utterly alone. You see, I have spent the last several years of my life disowning love. Blocking it. I've insisted that I'm single despite exclusively dating a wonderful man in an unconventional relationship since a year after my ex-husband left me.

So what's the problem?

Me. I'm the problem. This man loved me. Loves me. He wanted a real relationship and despite trying t0o hard to push my feelings away, I fell in love with him as well. But I had so many fears, so many unresolved issues that I sabotaged this relationship. I have been afraid to love. Really, truly afraid to love. And also afraid to relate; to have a real "all in" type of relationship.

So over the years I behaved in ways that I am not entirely proud of in an attempt to protect myself. And I lost the man. He finally had enough of me not dealing with my own stuff. No one could blame him.

Retrograde revelations

We were out of communication since mid-June and I started going to the beach every week by myself. I would journal and read and reflect on my "Venus issues." I realized exactly how much I have been in the way of my own happiness in love. I realized that no relationship is perfect, no love is guaranteed, and no romance comes without risk. All of the things I have always known intellectually, I allowed to sink into my heart. I decided that it was time to let love in. I spent so many years afraid to gamble my heart yet in a twist of irony, once I lost someone who I loved and who REALLY loved me, I realized that I lost it all. Just by playing it safe I became the biggest loser this summer.

Just recently, I reconnected with this man. Things are changing ... fast. And although I don't know where those changes will lead for us, I can tell you one thing for sure: I'm tired of keeping that suit of armor around my heart. It costs too much! I'm ready for a change.

At last, Venus is turning direct on September 6, 2015. At 41 years old, in the summer of 2015 I have indeed experienced yet another game-changing Venus Retrograde cycle.

I have decided to finally let love in.

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