The other day I had a "Twilight Zone" experience. I gave my son's girlfriend an Astrology session.
I knew romance was coming for my son -- one look at his Astrology tells the story. He has transiting Neptune currently crossing his Ascendant and opposing his natal Venus. In addition, transiting Jupiter just entered his 5th house of True Love -- a cycle that tends to bring romance your way when other corroborating factors (like his Neptune transits) agree.
I knew his goose would be cooked.
And honestly, I'm happy for him. He was born with a seriously challenged Venus. Not only is it in Virgo, but it's also retrograde. Having Neptune around is helping (I hope) to dissolve some of his tremendous insecurities about self-worth and lovability. Will he suffer from a broken heart? At some point I'm certain of it ... but you don't need to be an astrologer to make that assumption. In any event, this is part of the growing up process and I'll be there for my son through it all.
I'm a little different...
What makes me different from the usual moms out there however, is my day job. Once Vincent's girlfriend found out what I did for a living, my son happily offered his mother's astrological insights to his little lady. She was thrilled -- and apparently her mom loved the idea too. This was totally new territory for me. Part of me wanted to delve into her birth chart to satisfy my own curiosity. What was it about this young lady that mesmerizes my son besides the fact that she's adorable? I would know after I looked at her horoscope. But the question of boundaries crossed my mind. Even with her and her mom's permission, this is a 14 year old who is not my child or a member of my family. How far should I go?
Kids tend to approach this from a level of "Ohhhh Astrology is so cool and fun!" but they don't understand how much more serious Astrology is. I wanted to give her a thorough, honest assessment of her horoscope, but I also wanted to make sure that I presented the information in a way that builds confidence -- especially at such a young age -- and empowers her as she makes future choices. Even though (if I'm being honest) I don't entirely agree that any of us are exclusively in control of our destiny. But to get into a major philosophical discussion about Astrology, fate and free will with a 14 year old that has never been exposed to these concepts would be like me trying to carry a conversation in a foreign language. It just ain't happening.
More than entertainment
The reason why I'm writing about this recent personal experience is to remind all parents out there with an interest in Astrology that we have a responsibility to teach our children that Astrology is so much more than entertainment or fortune telling. We also need to be careful when making interpretations and predictions for children -- even more so than with adults. Children and teens are impressionable. They can hear something that an astrologer says and take it as gospel. Sure this is possible with adults but when it comes to minors, it can be an especially dangerous elixir.
She mentioned, for example, that she was considering a career as a defense lawyer but wasn't entirely sure. I recognized immediately that my choice of words in explaining the career potential in her horoscope might very well have a far reaching effect. Libra Midheaven with Mars in Libra in the 10th House of Career (square Mercury) sure matched up with what she was already thinking about in terms of professional goals. But she is only 14. That same pattern can express itself in a host of other ways. So I was super careful to mention that yes, I did see that potential if she chose that path, but at the same time her options were not limited and she has plenty of other talents and options to explore if she decides law is not for her.
In the end, time will tell. But can you imagine declaring to an impressionable 14 year old that she absolutely MUST go for a career in law? Or even worse, that she might as well abandon her dream altogether? Both pronouncements can be damaging.
So how far do I go?
Then, when we got to predictions, she asked me a question about a potential move. I saw that Transiting Uranus would come to her 4th House of Family cusp by next summer followed by an eclipse at the degree of her 4th house cusp in the fall. These are cycles that clearly suggest significant transition in her domestic life, possibly including a move.
But how do you tell that to a 14 year old without her automatically assuming worst case scenarios? Rather than say nothing I explained that change is a part of life and growth and this might be as simple as a renovation in her home or as complicated as someone moving in or out of the home -- or a complete family move. I also mentioned a few other ways this energy could express itself and made sure to emphasize the positive.
What amazed me during this experience was how mature and genuinely interested my son's girlfriend was during our conversation. She listened carefully to my words and asked fantastic questions. She assured me that it was an amazingly positive experience for her and didn't leave her feeling anxious in any way. I was relieved! Now, she's even more interested in Astrology. She was especially happy when I told my son that with his girlfriend's Venus-Uranus opposition he needed to relax and not get so insecure when she wanted to take a break from seeing him one night and go out with her friends instead. In fact, she grinned from ear to ear. Sorry son, but hey ... you asked for it.
Teenagers -- gotta love 'em. And their Astrology.