Dealing with Venus Problems

Tense aspects to Venus can challenge your self-worth


I seem to have a never-ending supply of Venus complications in my life. Ah, Venus! The planet that rules love, relationships, beauty, and what gives us pleasure. Venus rules what we value and how we seek to be valued by others. Not to mention, money, talents and our overall self-worth.

If your Venus (like mine) makes any tense aspects to other planets in your chart, if you were born during Venus Retrograde, or if your Venus is placed in a sign like Aries or Virgo (signs that make it more difficult to express Venusian qualities), then you may suffer from a fragmented Venus as well.

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Is there hope for us? Of course.

Remember, it's the hard aspects in our birth chart that catapult us into soul growth. The key is learning how to redirect any potentially difficult pattern into something positive and nourishing rather than soul-sapping.

This is not an easy task by any means! But then again, isn't this why we have that journey called "the human experience," anyway? Suzanne Weyn, author of "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium," penned a quote that has become a personal favorite: "Your life is an occasion. Rise to it." That's how I tend to see the horoscope -- as an occasion. As for your troublesome aspects? Rise to it!

When Venus is "broken"

Now, let's get back to my wrecked Venus. Some of you reading this may share this particular pattern. My Venus is in a square to Saturn, the planet of restriction, fear and limitation. In the interest of full astrological disclosure, I have Venus in Aries in the 12th square, and Saturn and Mars in Cancer in the 3rd. Venus is also opposite Pluto in my chart, and it's trine a Moon-Neptune conjunction in Sagittarius. Yes, I have a busy Venus. But when that square to Saturn takes over I tend to call her broken. Malnourished. Dysfunctional. Even kind of pathetic at times.

When Venus is in a harsh aspect to Saturn, everything Venus represents (see that first paragraph) becomes mired in fear, self-doubt, insecurity and restriction. In the shadow of a tense aspect, Saturn whispers to Venus: "You don't deserve love" or "Don't spend money -- there might not be enough" or "You are ugly! There's nothing attractive about you -- no one will ever want you." Or "Don't show him you like him -- why would ever be into you?"

Saturn can easily destroy Venus when she listens to such malignant words like this. When her life experiences resemble versions of Saturn's whispers, she tends to recoil from the world and believe that this will always be her experience.

Venus is also the planet of shopping!

Allow me to share a story about how my Venus-Saturn square recently tried to rear her shadow in my life. It all started when I had to go clothes shopping. I have a SERIOUS problem when it comes to spending money on myself. Extreme. I don't feel that I deserve to spend money on myself. If I do, I automatically get nervous and panic over not being able to pay an important bill because I had the audacity to use money for myself. We can discuss my deprived childhood and analyze this form of self-deprecation until the cows come home, but all you really need to do is note that Venus squares Saturn in my horoscope. Then you'll understand.

Now, let's get back to shopping. I desperately needed clothes for the fall/winter season. I also needed a new pair of boots. Now that the weather is starting to cool here in New York, I realized I couldn't delay the inevitable any longer. I would HAVE to buy things for myself. So I did. I ended up spending nearly $500 on clothes and a pair of boots that I love. For once, I made a conscious decision to delete Saturn's snarky remarks.

"No!" I screamed at Saturn (in my mind) while I was in the dressing room. I stared at myself in the mirror, wearing one of my new outfits. "You're wrong. I look great in this. I can afford it, and I AM WORTH IT!"

Finally finding Venus validation

Later that afternoon, I showed my Leo daughter what I treated myself to. She was in a state of disbelief at first. Then, a smile crept into her face. "Mom, I'm so proud of you. I love everything you got -- and it's about time you spent money on yourself. You deserve it!"

She hugged me. Annamaria is the kind of person who oozes sweetness. She has a great Venus. It's in tender Cancer, conjunct Jupiter, and hugging her Midheaven. Ruler of her chart, too, because she has Libra rising. She's blessed.

I smiled when she tried on one of my new sweaters and complimented me on how much she loved my new boots and clothes. She wanted to borrow them. My Venus was validated. I guess she has good taste after all.

Repairing what feels like a broken Venus in your birth chart can take a lifetime, but it is possible. What can you do today for your Venus? Go ahead ... she's worth it.

Learn about your own Venus placement! Get your Essential Birth Chart Report now »