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The Dark Side of Love

Pluto and the depths of love vs. hate

By Maria DeSimone

"If you want to love, express hate. If you want to hate, express love."
~ Strephon Kaplan Williams

I read the above quote in an Astrology book, in a section about having Pluto in the natal 12th House of Spirituality.

Wowsers! I’ll admit I had to read the quote about a dozen times -- even out loud -- before I could process it. Initially it sounds ugly. Really ugly. I mean, is this psychologist actually suggesting that we hate?

Then I began to allow myself to think about this quote -- to really "go there" and sit with the dark side of life. To sit with my own natal Venus-Pluto opposition. Kelly Clarkson sings about it these days when she belts "Will you love me? Even with my dark side?"

We all have one.

The trouble is, many of us are afraid to admit, let alone confront it. What is lurking in you chart that has been difficult to confront?

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The shadow side of planet Pluto

I posted the above quote on my Facebook page in a bit of an experimental fashion. I wanted to see how many people would have the same initial reaction I did -- the "Ick, what is this nut job talking about?" reaction. Nearly everyone disagreed with the quote. Of course they did. It’s awful. It goes against everything we ever learned about our higher selves and unconditional love, right? The dude who declared this had to be some kind of nut job.

Not so fast.

The author of the book attempts to call our attention to Pluto and the shadow side of this crafty planet. Pluto is the planet of power and depth. It is our control factor in the birth chart, and it teaches us how to deal with (or attempt to hide from) the intense issues such as sex, death, power and transformation.

Pluto is the planet that rules the underworld, including the occult and crime. Pluto is the mafia. Pluto is the psychic medium. Pluto is the depth psychologist. Pluto is the rapist and the serial killer. Pluto is the healer. Yes, Pluto is ALL of these things. Not all of them were pretty to read, were they?

Well, Pluto is not meant to be pretty. It’s the simple truth. Our Pluto placement, by sign, house and aspect, is where we are meant to confront both our darkest energies and transcend them in order to evolve our soul in a most incredible way. In the extreme you can go the Hitler route, or you can go the Ghandi route. Most of us fall somewhere in the middle.

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Love vs. hate

I think the reason why the quote above pushes so many buttons in our psyche is because we don’t want to examine the possibility that love and hate might really be two sides of the same coin. If you go deeply enough, hate is really nothing more than the feeling of rejection, vulnerability, and sadness that comes from loving so deeply and losing that love or feeling wounded by the one you love. By the same token, love is not possible unless we can confront and redeem the darkest, most twisted forces inside of us.

Has anyone ever said "I hate you!" in an angry fit? I think we’ve all been there. Ah, my teenage children have both declared these words to me on separate occasions. Ouch. It hurts! And in that moment, the person means it. But what they really mean when they say this word "hate" is much deeper. They’re really saying: "I hate the fact that I love you so much it gives you power to hurt me and make me feel like I have no control."

I remember the bitter years of my divorce. My ex-husband hated me so much he tried to destroy me. Why? The root of it all is love. He tried to destroy me and he expressed so much vengeance, bitterness and anger (dark side of Pluto) because in reality he was in extreme pain. He hated me because he loved me so much and that love was no longer possible for us to share. He couldn’t control that (Pluto) so the dark side emerged. It took me years to understand this, but once I did I became free from the hate I felt for him. The higher self always returns to understanding and compassion. To love.

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Coming full circle into love

Can you see how, when someone feels hate they are really feeling the dark side of their Pluto? Can you see how, when you can honestly examine the deep root of that hate, surrender to it and free yourself from it, you are once again ready for love? Are you ready to embrace YOUR dark side?

Maybe this is what Williams meant by that quote. Consider it.

Hate, anger, control and resentment are merely gloves our psyche puts on to mask pain. It is only by honestly confronting this pain that we can ever come full circle and get back to the other side.

Yes, that side is love. I promise.

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