A man and woman holding each other with an orange backdrop with planets, representing twin flames

Twin Flames: The Bond That Will Change Your Life

Signs this rare twin flame connection is about to get lit

By Tarot.com Staff

If you don’t know much about twin flames, you’re probably wondering two things: what are they, and who’s yours? Let’s start with the what, and then we can get to the who, shall we?

What is a twin flame?

A twin flame is a very intense soul bond. It’s basically your other half. But let’s be real – no one else can complete you. So, meeting your twin flame doesn’t make you whole, it reminds you of the work you need to do to feel whole on your own.

The connection is always instant and deep. Looking into their eyes may feel so familiar, probably because it’s like looking into your own. This sense of unconditional love and truly being seen can be intoxicating until we start to sober up and realize that this person has a lot more to show us.

Waking up next to your twin flame can be like seeing the dark circles under your eyes without needing to look in the mirror in the morning. So romantic, right? They reflect back to you the ugly parts you haven’t quite accepted within yourself partly because they have similar wounds, fears, and insecurities.

In fact, it’s not uncommon for twin flames to share parallel childhood family dynamics. Maybe you both struggle with an abandonment wound, or perhaps each of you have parents who divorced when you were young – this is why meeting your twin flame can feel like home. But once the relationship really gets rolling, though, you can’t ignore the monsters under the bed anymore.

What is the purpose of a twin flame?

What’s the point of all this, you ask? The answer is simple: soul evolution. Twin flames are attracted to one another to experience accelerated spiritual growth. They come together to be reminded of their true nature, which means loving the dark spots as much as the light.

We’re all good at hiding the less attractive parts of who we are from others (and even from ourselves). Yet with a twin flame, that’s not really possible. You’re forced to do the work, but the work is less about improving the relationship between you and them and more about improving your relationship with yourself.

The more we can accept, heal, and integrate our shadows, the more we can find wholeness. No one can do this for us. Your twin flame is not responsible for your demons, but that doesn’t mean you won’t take it out on them for bringing those demons to your attention.

That’s the confusing part – you’re simultaneously attracted to and repulsed by them. Thus, twin flames can come in and out of each other’s lives until the necessary growth or healing has occurred. Remember, though: no supposed twin flame connection is just cause for staying in a relationship that’s toxic. If someone doesn’t treat you right, they’re probably not your twin flame.

Twin flame vs. soulmate

No, a twin flame is not the same thing as a soulmate. While the two terms are often confused with one another, there are some crucial differences between them!

A soulmate is someone from your “soul family.” Like a twin flame, there’s a deep familiarity when you meet them, but what makes this relationship distinct is that these bonds are typically quite harmonious. Both parties support the other in becoming their true self with grace and ease.

A twin flame, on the other hand, inspires your truth in a much more tumultuous way. When you look in the mirror, you probably don’t always love what you see. The reflection of a twin flame challenges you to accept all of yourself, even the dark side. That’s why they’re also called “mirror souls.”

Twin flames can actually become soulmates, but it takes a whole lot of patience and humility. If each person is able to take responsibility for their baggage, face their demons, and come out on the other side with the relationship still intact … then, well, anything is possible.

What can your twin flame teach you? Reveal the answer now »

Origin of twin flames

There are various spiritual traditions and ancient myths that tell the story of human souls being split in half, setting the foundation for the twin flame theory. Plato’s Symposium from the fifth century BC is one of them.

The myth tells the story of how humans used to have two bodies in one -- two faces, two sets of genitals, four arms, and four legs. Some were male/female, some male/male, and others female/female. These beings were extremely powerful and tried to overtake the gods, so Zeus decided to cut them all in half. Ever since then, souls wander the Earth yearning for their twin.

A little far-fetched, we know… but it doesn’t matter whether you believe that your twin flame is in fact half of your soul or simply see this as a metaphor to describe this powerful relationship. All that matters is that twin flames are out there. And if you happen to find yours, they will help you find yourself.

Stages of a twin flame relationship

Stage 1: Instant connection

You both meet. It’s hot. It’s heavy. It’s unlike anything you’ve experienced before. What is it about this person? It’s like you’ve known them for years; maybe even lifetimes. Delete your dating profile – there’s no turning back now.

Stage 2: Honeymoon phase

You’re the yin to their yang. The love runs so deep it feels spiritual. You both just get each other. You feel like you can tell them anything. You might even be finishing their sentences. Is it too good to be true?

Stage 3: Shadows come to light

Little by little, you start to trigger each other and the disillusionment begins. Little tiffs turn into bigger quarrels and before you know it, you’re working through your deepest darkest fears together. Get ready for some rapid healing.

Stage 4: Push/pull begins

You’re hot, they’re cold; they’re in, you’re out. The relationship can be so challenging, it’s likely you’ll come in and out of each other’s lives. When you’re together, it’s intense and tumultuous, but when you’re apart, you miss the love and excitement.

Stage 5: Surrender or separation

You can’t go on like this forever, so what’s it gonna be? Will you face your demons together? Or is it easier to do that apart? There’s no right answer, as long as you learn from the relationship. If the flame goes out, your unconditional love will remain.

11 Signs you’ve met your twin flame

  1. There’s an instant connection
  2. The person is intensely familiar
  3. A powerful magnetism exists between you
  4. The relationship is turbulent
  5. Shared wounds, fears, and insecurities
  6. You feel a psychic or telepathic connection
  7. There’s a push/pull dynamic
  8. Rapid growth and healing happen together
  9. Synchronicity is common around them
  10. You see angel numbers like 11:11
  11. The connection feels sacred


Are twin flames meant to be in a relationship?

Not necessarily! A twin flame relationship lasts however long is needed for the evolution of each soul, which could be 45 minutes or 45 years.

Are twin flames always romantically involved?

Usually, but sometimes they happen to be platonic relationships. A twin flame is an intense soul bond that reflects your inner shadows and changes you to your core. Sometimes it takes the shape of a deep friendship. So no, sex and romance are not a necessary part of the equation.

What happens when twin flames break up?

They move on! Don’t get us wrong: twin flame breakups are not easy. But once you integrate your shadows, you’ll be much more likely to attract a soulmate into your life.

Do you only have one twin flame?

Typically, but we like to believe there may even be more than one out there! Twin flames are extremely rare, though, so they’re not exactly going to be lining up at your door.

Does everyone have a twin flame?

Absolutely -- the universe isn’t going to leave you hanging! But just because you have one doesn’t mean you’ll recognize them right away. If you haven’t met yours, don’t panic… they could be right around the corner.

When do twin flames meet?

Let’s face it – we can never be truly prepared for this life-changing relationship. When both people are in need of the rapid growth and healing that this dynamic provides, they will attract each other into their lives. But that doesn’t mean they necessarily want to do the inner work it involves!

Can twin flames become toxic?

Yep, especially if there’s a lot of resistance. If someone doesn’t want to look in the mirror, things can get ugly. However, some people romanticize this topic to justify getting back together with someone who treated them poorly. Remember – no supposed twin flame connection can justify staying in a toxic or abusive relationship.

What zodiac signs are twin flames?

We wish it were that simple! Astrology can’t tell you if two people are twin flames, but you might see clues of a twin flame dynamic if they both have similar past life placements in their charts. The South Node is a great place to start!

How do you find your twin flame?

Be patient. Your twin flame will come along when the time is right. If you’re wondering whether your twin flame is close by, pull some tarot cards to find out…

Is your twin flame thinking about you?

Is your twin flame thinking about you? Find out now with a Tarot Reading. FIND OUT NOW

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